Field Trip

Today was Josie's school field trip to the zoo. We had a great time. It's not very often (never really) that I get one on one time with any of my kids. It's really calm and wonderful. I wonder if this is what it's like for someone with one child. Wow.

It also makes me realize how over my head I am most of the time. People who have children by childbirth and not adoption might end up with one special needs child. I have three. I choose three. This is ALOT of work.

It's nice to have a day like today and slow down and enjoy the company of my child.

Too Long

I feel like summer slipped away and fall was here before I even realized it. Charlie and I haven't been able to go on bike rides and play dates like I thought we would once the girls were in school.

My mornings fill up quickly with cooking, laundry, dishes, driving to school.... I look up and it's nap time. Time to get really get things done without a little one underfoot. My goodness time flies.


The days are long but the years are short.

Hurry up school!

My kids are driving me bonkers. Tomorrow's heat index is 107 so we're stuck inside with the AC again. They're bouncing off the walls like pinballs. Ding, ding, ding.

I think I'm gonna lose my voice yelling:

"don't touch that, we don't climb on the stove, quit hitting your brother, don't pull the cat's tail, quit fighting, get down from there, leave your sister alone"

What in the world possessed me to have three kids so close in age?

Two more weeks until school starts. Hurry up school!

More Cohousing Research

We're still very interested in cohousing....even more so when you really wish you knew your neighbors well enough that you could leave your 4 yr olds with them while you take your baby to the emergency room.

We visited the local cohousing group that is still in the process of retrofitting buildings. We really liked their eco focus but I don't think it will have enough green space to make me happy. I'm getting tired of living in a sea of concrete.

This weekend we'll be taking a trip to Lawrence KS to visit the cohousing community there.

I lost some weight

Unfortunately it wasn't on my hips. This past weekend we had a huge yard sale. Besides providing my budget for my mini backyard makeover we also lost about 200 pounds of stuff. Mostly infant and toddler supplies. All the baby bottles are gone, the Amby baby, the crib, the co-sleeper, the high chair, the infant car seats, the boppy, the miracle blanket....all......gone.

I'm officially done having babies. I thought I might be sad about this moment, but five babies later I can say "been there, done that....and don't want to do it again" and actually mean it.

I would say that I'm happy that I'll eventually be sleeping through the night....but here it is quarter to one and everyone is asleep but me.

Sugar Sugar

When we came home from vacation I was determined to get myself back in order.

2. Remember to schedule my own doctors appointments.
My DP is convinced my thyroid is out of whack. My mom and oldest sister have thyroid issues and have been on sythetic replacement for years. I was a little alarmed that the checklist online fits me in every catagory. When I first became a new mom I stopped getting pap smears and ended up in the early stages of cervical cancer.....take care of me first, take care of me first...chant with me now.

I made my doctors appointment as I promised myself I would and got my lab results back yesterday. My thyroid is fine...but I'm diabetic. My doctor has given me six week to try control it with diet and exercise before she prescribes pills. I love that I have a doctor that is willing to work with me (especially since we don't have domestic partner benefits and pay out the wazoo for my insurance) and give me some control over my own health choices.

I'm also very mad at myself and more than a little embarrassed. This is all a result of my own poor choices. Sugar, caffeine, carbs, sugar, caffeine, carbs, energy crash....repeat cycle. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I already had one wake up call in June when another sister had a heart attack.

I'm hoping that drastically changing my diet (no sugar, almost no carbs) will give me enough energy to start working out. Because really, after making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, dressing & undressing, changing diapers, brushing teeth, braiding hair, cleaning, dishes, laundry .....I rarely have enough energy to go to bed.

But man I'm gonna miss my sugar.

Babywearing

I've been trying to write a post (and email back a fellow foster parent....I'm still with ya Beth) and none of my words are coming out right. I swear the older I get less and less stays in my head. I'll be going towards something look to the side at the cat and forget what I was walking towards. Information falls out randomly. But anyway.

I've been babywearing since Jo was born. I found information about Kangaroo care when looking for help for preemies. That lead to babywearing. I started out making my own ring slings then Mei Tais. I later starting purchasing carriers at www.thebabywearer.com after I became too busy with babies to sit down and sew. I have a ring sling, a wrap, a few mei tais, a podeagi and now two soft structured carriers. CJ has been my biggest baby yet and I recently starting looking for a heavy duty carrier to keep up with his weight gain. Yesterday my new carrier came in. I'm still fiddling with it and getting used to a high tech carrier but take a look at my Beco Baby Carrier.

It came at just the right time. We've all ended up with vicious colds. CJ has started wanting nothing but mama. He fell asleep in the Beco yesterday when I was just trying it on. He is clinging to me most of the day even though he's crawling like a champ and already pulling up to stand.

Zen mama style

We're back from vacation and as usual I'm playing catch up with laundry and cleaning. I always come back from a change of scenery with big plans for doing better. I've cleared out a portion of the basement and had my niece come over and set up a playroom for the kids down there. My living room, dining room....well entire first floor actually....are toy free. It feels so good, like a can breathe in here (not to mention walk without tripping over something). No one warns you about the mounds of plastic you will accumulate as a parent. It multiplies overnight. I keep threatening to not buy another toy ever because the kids get so many as presents for birthdays and holidays they could fill their own toy store. Yikes, and here I am trying to teach them about being thankful and non materialistic and they own everything their heart has ever desired. But I'm getting off track ...again.

So being back from vacation and having some perspective on things I've decided to hire my niece to come clean my house once a week. It absolutely kills me to know that other people (my family) may think that I can't care for my own family but I just feel so overwhelmed lately. This will hopefully free up some time that I can concentrate on being a purposeful parent and not a reactionary one. Too many times lately I feel like all I'm doing is reacting to a spill, fall, sister-hitting, cat-food-eating incident that I'm not spending any time supporting or encouraging my kids. That makes me one grumpy, resentful mama. I'm trying to carve out more time to rejuvenate ME so I can be more of the mommy I want to be and not the stressed out mama I was becoming.

I'm trying to:

1. Spend 15 minutes a day stretching.

Going all out and saying I will exercise everyday is setting myself up to fail...stretching seems relaxing and most of all attainable.

2. Remember to schedule my own doctors appointments.

My DP is convinced my thyroid is out of whack. My mom and oldest sister have thyroid issues and have been on sythetic replacement for years. I was a little alarmed that the checklist online fits me in every catagory. When I first became a new mom I stopped getting pap smears and ended up in the early stages of cervical cancer.....take care of me first, take care of me first...chant with me now.

3. Create a peaceful environment.

Being a very visual person, I know that my environment has a big effect on my mood. For me that means constantly decluttering and surrounding myself with reminders of great times. I'm going to order some oversize prints of some of the pictures I've taken recently.

4. ASK for help.

Gulp. Why is that one so hard? I like doing things my way. I get stressed out doing every thing. Vicious cycle.

Getting some things done

Sorry I've been missing lately.

My nephew is here doing some handyman jobs around the house for us. He needed some $$ and we had a long list of honey-do's as neither of us are especially handy. I'm enjoying getting some things done around here - I love a completed to do list.

So....Blog ya soon.

Back to School Stuff

We're gearing up to get ready to go back to school around here. The girls don't start for another few weeks but I'm trying to get us back to more of a routine to make the transition easier. I made this picture schedule for the girls in the morning and it's working so well I'm going to make one for bedtime too.

If you have a school age child going back this year make sure you check out Flylady's Student journal to keep everything organized. I use her regular journal too.

I'm also trying to meal plan better (again...still?) and I've read some pretty neat ideas in this Back to School cookbook from my favorite recipe site Allrecipes.com

Got any back to school sites or tips to share?

Amazon's grocery store

This past week I got all of my amazon grocery orders in. I give it two thumbs way up! Here's the scoop.

Amazon has tons of grocery items now and you can get order just about anything that you can typically find at a grocery or retail store. They sell in bulk like a Costco or Sams but there is no membership fee and everything over $25 has free shipping. Bulk items delivered to your door rocks. No carrying big boxes of stuff to your car or into the house. With three little ones this was the biggest selling point to me. But I'm still very financially conservative (cheapskate) so I only ordered items that we use regularly: laundry soap, dryer sheets, toilet paper and trash Bags. I only ordered items that were comparable or lower prices than I normally find during local sales.

Here's the best part though....Every month amazon has different sale items, my best find was one of these sale items. If you bought so much of the All brand (I bought soap and dryer sheets) you got an additional $15 off your order. Then when I received my shipment some of the bottles must have been squeezed during shipment because it was a gloopy mess. I called amazon and they immediately sent me an entire replacement shipment at no charge. So I got.....drumroll......18 bottles of laundry soap for $40. Hello, I love amazon grocery.

That Soda will Kill You

A huge U.S. study of middle-aged adults has found that drinking more than one soft drink a day - even a sugar-free diet brand - may be associated with an elevated risk for metabolic syndrome, a cluster of factors that boosts the chance of having a heart attack or stroke and developing diabetes.

"We found that one or more sodas per day increases your risk of new-onset metabolic syndrome by about 45 per cent, and it did not seem to matter if it was regular or diet," Dr. Ramachandran Vasan, senior investigator for the Framingham Heart Study, said Monday from Boston.

Wow. My mom and I often have this conversation where I ask how she did it with 6 kids and she says she didn't have all the "junk" that messes up parenthood. The more news stories like this that come out the more I think she's right.

We still have this back and forth conversation about convenience items though. Like paper towels. My mom started out washing clothes in a creek on a washboard, then a tub style ringer washer and a clothesline to dry. The thought of less laundry to her is like hitting a goldmine. She knows about "going green" but still loves her disposable tree-killing-landfill-filling paper towels. LOL I don't fuss at her too much though....cause lord knows I have a hard enough time keeping up with laundry as it is....and all I have to do is push a button.

Success!

Guess who is potty trained? Josie! I didn't want to post any earlier in case it was just a passing fad...but she's been diaperless for almost 4 days now. Do you know how happy I am? YEAAAHHHH

Another gray hair

Jo started preschool just fine. The teacher had to explain to the other kids that the shiny spot under her nose was glue & stitches and not boogers. LOL Of course that didn't last long because she picked off the glue and stitches just 4 days after they were in. (can I have a side of guilt with my guilt platter please?) By that time they can't re-stitch so it looks like we're in for a nasty scar on my beautiful girl. (Can I supersize my guilt platter?)

But the real reason I'm going gray this week is that during naptime yesterday the girls were playing in their room and Jo thought a good game of beat-my-sister-over-the-head-with-maracas would be fun. I walked into, quite literally, a bloody mess. Head wounds bleed. Alot. Clothes, floor, bedding, furniture, hair, toys...just about everything. (I'm sorry but can I just order the whole guilt menu?) We would have made another trip to the emergency room if a friend who just happens to be a pediatrician wasn't already here visiting. So Lili is fine, no stitches required. But the sisters are being separated for a while. Different chairs at the dining table, different rows in the minivan and different bedrooms.

So how long does sibling rivalry last?

Emergency!

We had our first big emergency yesterday. While walking down the front steps Josie fell off the side and sliced her lip open on the metal alarm company sign. We had just returned from 4 hours at the children's hospital during a new leg splint fitting for Lili. We turned around and went right back for another 5 hours in the emergency room.

After 4 stitches, some glue and two worried mamas, everything is fine. I'm so surprised at how well it looks it was a really big gash. I felt awful and guilty that I wasn't there to protect my babygirl. But these things happen right? (someone tell me these things happen, kids fall and I'm not a horrible mom)

So here is her first day of school pic....stitches and all. I love her hair like this. Yeah for new hair pretties.

Blogging for LGBT Families

Rather than writing a political or theoretical post today, I'm going to write a very personal one. One that many LGBT families can relate to.

I am a mom.
I wipe noses and change diapers.
I'm there for every middle-of-the-night feeding, every boo boo and tummy ache.
I play peekaboo and build sand castles.
I make every meal and snack.
I'm the first person they run to when hurt, scared or tired.
I sing nursery rhymes and play tag.
I nurture and care for traumatized children.

I am a mom.



I'm mama, I'm the primary caregiver. However, I am not a legal parent. My partner does, but I have no rights to my children.

Mom's Day

My mom gave birth to me when she was nearly 40 years old, after she had already raised my 5 older siblings. I grew up with my nieces and nephews since I was 10-20 years younger than my own siblings. Today my youngest niece asked me to be in the delivery room with her when she gives birth next week. Her mother, my closest in age sibling, died two years ago of a heart attack at only 40 years old. I'm so honored and proud that I get to share this experience with her. I'm also very happy that I can be there for her at a time when she'll be missing her own mom.

I took this picture of her bulging belly today & I'm excited to record her birthing experience and take the first photos of our newest baby girl.


PS. If any one has any tips about comforting & supporting a woman during labor I'm all ears!

The weight of the world

Sometimes as a wife/mother/sister/daughter woman I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. So many people to care for.

Lately I've been feeling like I don't have any "successes" in my life. What I mean is... that what I do doesn't have a completion or a identifiable measure of accomplishment. The dishes always need to be done, the laundry is never finished, the kids will soon be hungry/dirty/sleepy again. I've been saying "I give up, you win" a lot lately. The washing machine doesn't seem to care that it has won though. I'll see if he still doesn't care when I replace him with a new LG high efficiency. (Is it really healthy to be snubbing my washer?)


This past Friday I was having one of those days when I just didn't want to get out of bed. CJ woke up more than a few times in the middle of the night and I was feeling the sleep deprivation. It took everything I had (and some help out of DP's workday) to get everyone clean, dressed and fed in time for our morning PT appointment. We had a doctor's appointment to rush to immediately following. By the time we got home I was exhausted and ready to crash. Then the phone rang, my mom had been in a car accident. After driving to the wrong hospital and then waiting at the right hospital for 5 hours she was released with only some minor injuries. (Thank goodness!)

This past week CJ had to be sedated during an MRI. That small taste of substances again has made him quite irritable. He also had to have a minor surgery to remove and infected gland under his tongue which he didn't really enjoy much either. I've had one craaaanky baby this week.

Lili's final day of this semester of preschool was last week. I'm looking forward to having a little more free time for a few weeks. I'm planning some daytime trips to the zoo and museums. We're hoping that a slot will open up and Jo will be able to join Lili during the summer semester starting in June. She is so ready for school! I won't know what to do with myself with two in school for half a day.

Well yeah I will. Laundry.

Food

A huge issue for me as a mom (and a woman) is meal planning and nutrition.

As a parent I don't want my kids to have the same food issues that I do. I grew up very poor and food wasn't always available. I was always praised when I finished all my food. My mom even took proud pictures showing me holding a clean plate. I still have "clean plate issues". If it's on the plate I feel obligated to eat it. In this day of huge portions that's obviously not healthy. Even though I know what the problem is I still struggle with it. Conversely DP struggles with sweets and treats. A trip to my MIL's house is a feast of cakes, candies, cookies, chocolates, popcorn and even hot cocoa with fresh made whipped cream. So yeah, we have food issues I'd rather not pass on to my own daughters.

My MIL and my DP are gourmet cooks. They swap recipes and I'm often drooling over the latest creation. That is until I realize it has a pound of butter and a quart of cream...or it's wrapped in bacon and stuffed with a special cheese that adds 10 pounds at the sight of it. My mom was a simple, healthy cook out of necessity. She didn't know what gourmet cooking was but she knew how to feed 15 people with a block of government cheese, a can of salmon, a bag of elbow noodles and a few homegrown tomatoes.

I'm trying to find a healthy medium. I'm trying to please too many picky eaters. I'm working around food allergies, high blood pressure and SID texture issues. I'm trying to make sure our meals are nutritious and delicious. Why is this so hard?

Dream Home ....take 2

So this past week DP and I have been mulling over the idea of renovating a house. Why? You ask? Well, as a foster parent my family expands and contracts at a quick pace. Read A Call and add to that ....CJ has two older sisters that may come into care. I say may....but that's another post to write about.

It's only an idea that we have been lightly considering because we do love our house and there is not much on the market to entice us into action.

But it brings up the notion that we could possibly keep adding to our family unexpectedly through new sibling births. Jo's mother should be past childbirth age now and Lili's mother should be able to parent any future children....but new placement's siblings? That opens up a whole new chapter in our lives.