Wednesday, September 19, 2007

We go on a BIG boat mama!

We're getting ready to go on our first Cruise. Gramma and Grampa are coming with us and the girls are both very excited to go on a big boat. We've been talking it up for weeks. We'll be touring most of the west coast, staying in the states since CJ will be in respite with some foster parent friends of ours. (BTW his case was kicked out of the drug court program and now we head to regular family court)

I'm so glad we had a couple of vacations planned this year, I've needed it. Being a foster parent and being a mom to preschoolers in general, is so hard. It is so draining emotionally. That damn roller coaster dragging your heart around is just too much at times. Another parent at the girls preschool asked me this week how to I handle having so many things out of my control. The answer is "I don't".

Being a mom has made me more patient and has made me let go of so many things. I totally understand why my mom was so nonchalant when I was growing up. I was her sixth child, she was 53 when I became a teenager. I imagine by that time nothing ruffled her feathers. I feel myself becoming more jaded in life. I'm less joyful and more discontent in life with the abuse, neglect and general "unfairness" I see. Sunshine Girl on a Rainy Day recently did a post that has me thinking. I keep coming back to the quote she uses:
As Jack Nicholson sardonically put it in the movie As Good As It Gets: "It's not true. Some people have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car."

Cindy posted a website in her older child blog that has a Compassion Fatigue test from the Florida State University Psychosocial Stress Research Program. I have an extremely high risk for Compassion Fatigue and Burnout. Boy am I feeling that right now.

I'm thankful I have so many blogosphere friends that get me reflecting but still keep me moving onward.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Ah....feels like fall

Sometimes I think that as a stay at home mom I'm isolated, sometimes I think I'm so overwhelmed with people needing me that I'll never be alone.

This pic is from my "Mom's Day Off" that I had about two weeks ago. DP took a day off to stay home with the kids and I got up and left the house at about 8:30 and didn't return until suppertime. It's been three years since I've had a day off just for me (my last pap smear I had my feet in the stirrups and a cranky baby in my arms).My day was more than wonderful. It was bliss/happy/calm/energizing good. I took my camera and had a photography morning at a local sculpture park, did some shopping (alone!) and went fishing with my mom. I really miss nature. I really do. Having non-walkers really limits where you can go. I wonder if my kids think nature is the stuff that surrounds the playground in the park. It was so peaceful to be surrounded by green and even dip my toes into a creek. It has me thinking that we need a little lake house somewhere.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Snuggle Puppy

So this past weekend we actually took the plunge and *gulp* gave away all of our baby clothes. Now even if they told me the biggest sob story I'll have to say no (and I NEED to say no) and not take another baby. It actually doesn't feel as huge as I thought...more natural than anything. It's quite funny to me that most "typical" couples would include some form of birth control in their family planning at this point, and we are just passing on supplies as our family planning technique. LOL

To keep you updated on CJ's case.....well first let me say that I LOVE this bouncy baby boy. Oh does he have my heart in his hands. He is SOOOO my snuggle puppy.

His mom has been missing court since she got out of rehab and for the first time, dad missed too. The judge discussed taking the case out of the special drug court program and we're expecting that to happen at the next court date. I'm hoping that will make the situation better. As it is the SW actually said last week "I think mom is using" and mentioned that CJ's sister was home at the time. Yet still did nothing to protect the little girl! As a mandated reporter shouldn't I report that? To whom? The social worker that told me? GRRRRRRRR Really guys, I feel that I should do something, but what? What's better... getting dragged into this failed system or watching your mom get high on heroine?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

A Post for Bacchus




A post for Bacchus who is thinking about remodeling his vintage bath.

I love how vessel sinks look. I hate cleaning, repairing and maintaining my vessel sink.