I'm so glad we had a couple of vacations planned this year, I've needed it. Being a foster parent and being a mom to preschoolers in general, is so hard. It is so draining emotionally. That damn roller coaster dragging your heart around is just too much at times. Another parent at the girls preschool asked me this week how to I handle having so many things out of my control. The answer is "I don't".
Being a mom has made me more patient and has made me let go of so many things. I totally understand why my mom was so nonchalant when I was growing up. I was her sixth child, she was 53 when I became a teenager. I imagine by that time nothing ruffled her feathers. I feel myself becoming more jaded in life. I'm less joyful and more discontent in life with the abuse, neglect and general "unfairness" I see. Sunshine Girl on a Rainy Day recently did a post that has me thinking. I keep coming back to the quote she uses:
As Jack Nicholson sardonically put it in the movie As Good As It Gets: "It's not true. Some people have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car."
Cindy posted a website in her older child blog that has a Compassion Fatigue test from the Florida State University Psychosocial Stress Research Program. I have an extremely high risk for Compassion Fatigue and Burnout. Boy am I feeling that right now.
I'm thankful I have so many blogosphere friends that get me reflecting but still keep me moving onward.