CJ will be my last foster child.
The rollercoaster of emotions is too much. The worry is too much. The grief and loss is too much. I can't do this any more.
I'm tempted to give away all my clothes and supplies to the Foster and Adoptive Care Coalition's KidStore so that I really am unable to take another placement. If I decide later on to adopt (private adoption) I will buy new things that belong only to that child and don't have the memories of lost children attached to them.
There is no straw that broke the camels back. Just a realization that enough is enough.