Monday, May 21, 2007

The Rollercoaster Ride

I haven't done an update about CJ in a while because, well everything changes daily. This roller coaster ride has so many ups and downs. I've learned not to hold my breath....but I still worry more than I should.

CJ's siblings were almost put into care but great-grandma stepped up and took them back. But this past week they were with mom at a visit again.

Parents were supposed to be starting weekly unsupervised visits. They didn't do what they needed to at the last minute. They have lost momentum and are not making much progress in their case plan.

DFS proved that mom "ghosted" her drug test. She took a substance that makes your test come back clean. They can't do anything about it but note it in the report. They can't screen any future tests to see if she's still doing this.

Mom is beginning to give up hope and asked that her mother be given custody. Grandma wants mom to "clean up her own mess for once". I get that she's not trying to enable her daughter any more, it scares me that he could spend years bonding with us and then she'll decide to step up.

Sometimes I'm really glad that we only get calls for babies. When we were first approved as foster parents I thought that the greatest need would be for older sibling groups. We are open to kids up to 8 years old, 2-3 siblings. Because I can be home with the kids we only get calls for preemie and special needs infants. The sleep deprivation gets to you ....but I don't know how I would protect/buffer an older kiddo from all these worries.

CJ has been seeing a barrage of specialist to rule out a prenatal stroke or brain bleed.
Today the letters were finally put into his chart.


Cerebral Palsy


fostermama said...

Oh, poor little guy.
I know what you mean about being glad to only have the littlest ones... Taking a toddler made us realize how much better it is when they're not aware of what's going on. I think that ages 1.5-2.5 must be the worst, because they know something's wrong and that they're not with their parents, but they really cannot understand any explanation of it.

Maggie said...

Oh goodness. He's so tiny and he's had it so rough already. I hate to see another complication added to the mix.

Amanda said...

Oh my goodness. So sorry to hear this. I am glad he is with you where he will be well taken care of.

Susan said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. The poor little guy!

Beth said...

I wondered what was happening with CJ because I hadn't read anything about him for a while.

I can tell how much compassion you have for his mother and grandmother, too, and the pain and desperation they are feeling. For me one of the most challenging aspects of fostering is the way each child brings you a whole new extended family with really difficult relationships and situations.

Two teenagers with C.P. and their sister, all adopted from foster care, recruited me to be a foster parent. I had always been thinking about it, but they were relentless in asking me when I was going to really do it.