Resisting Suburbia

Ahhhh. Finally.

We have a contract on the house. We have a contract on a new house. An acre in suburbia. An entire acre. I won't know what to do with myself. I'm hoping the kids will run around the yard for hours a day and collapse into their beds at night like perfect angels. Nice deam right?

I've been doing alot of dreaming lately. I'm hoping this will be our last move. The place where we raise our kids and retire. I'm dreaming of gardening and greening up the house (rain barrels anyone?)

I'm no longer thinking about foster parenting. It's kind of nice. No social worker visits. No court dates. Just us and our crazy, loud, boisterous kids. My family.

I haven't been posting much here at Celebrating All Families. I don't know if I will continue to update here..... But I have started chronicling our new family adventures at http://resistingsuburbia.blogspot.com/

A Year of Seizures

It's been a year since Charlie starting having seizures. I remember clearly how scared I was that first time. My barely one year old baby boy shaking, not a ble to breathe, those minutes seemed like a lifetime of worry. Now seizures are so commonplace in our life we barely stop for one. Even on two different seizure medications twice a day Charlie still has seizures regularly.

This Memorial Day weekend, like last year, Charlie was sick with a fever. Fevers are his biggest trigger. The seizures are bigger and more numerous if his temperature goes up. Today I'm alternating between Ibuprofen and Acetimenophen to try to keep the seizures away.

We Couldn't All Be Cowboys

Looked at more houses this week. I figured out why I am so scared of the suburbs. I think the city values it's unique individuals. Freaks are an important part of city culture, I'm afraid of moving to a place that values sameness.

There have been many times in my life when I've refined my goals and set new ones. This time though I'm having a hard time balancing the needs of an entire family and how that fits into what we want collectively and what each one of us needs. Layers of complication.

Mortgages and hope

We're kind of stuck in a holding pattern here....hoping someone will buy our house....hoping a house we love comes on the market. In the mean time we busy ourselves with what little control we do have. Today we're getting preapproved for another mortgage so we're ready when the universe is ready for us. We spend time every day fighting a losing battle to keep the house "showable" with three little ones underfoot.

I'm changing the lightbulbs to brighter ones, I'm painting touchups over nicks in the walls.

I'm dreaming of chicken tractors and worm bins. I'm plotting how many apple trees I'll plant in the new yard. I'm pouring over Realtor.com listings hoping for something new.

I'm putting it out to the universe.....and waiting to see what comes back.

Field Trip

Today was Josie's school field trip to the zoo. We had a great time. It's not very often (never really) that I get one on one time with any of my kids. It's really calm and wonderful. I wonder if this is what it's like for someone with one child. Wow.

It also makes me realize how over my head I am most of the time. People who have children by childbirth and not adoption might end up with one special needs child. I have three. I choose three. This is ALOT of work.

It's nice to have a day like today and slow down and enjoy the company of my child.

Farmers Market

Today is the first day of the season for our favorite Farmers Market. I've been up since 5:30 thinking about fresh strawberries and asparagus. You have to get there early or they'll sell out. We're planning on arriving 15 minutes before they officially open.


One day I'll have enough space to grow everything I want to eat.

Too Long....

It's been too long since I've updated this blog. Mainly because well....our drama has decreased! Since we're no longer foster parents our schedule is lighter....no more social worker visits, court dates...ahhhh.


We're looking at moving into a different house. My babies aren't babies anymore and they need more room to roam outside out of my hair. So much energy! It's crazy hard trying to keep our current home showable all the time. I think I wipe dirty handprints off the walls and windows daily.

Introducing

Introducing.....my son. Choo Choo Charlie. My family is complete.

Done

In less than a week I will no longer be a foster parent! Choo Choo's adoption date has been set and we will be letting our license expire. No more rollercoaster.....Shhhh.. I guess I shouldn't say that out loud. The last time I did my nephew almost came into care.

It's the end of an era for us.

Keeping up

Mondays.....uggg.

Somehow over the weekend laundry doubles, dirty dishes sneak to odd places in the house and the list of things to do is longer than ever.

I hate mondays. I'm sitting here typing trying to get up the energy to face a mountain of tasks.

maybe more coffee will help.

TPR

Almost a year ago I wrote that the judge ordered TPR and Adoption for Choo Choo's case. Today the day is here. Choo's parents Termination of Parental Rights Trial is today. (deep breath)

As a foster parent days like today are nerve wrecking. On one hand I'm praying the judge will let Choo finally have some permanancy after almost two years in care. I'm praying that finally my son can become, my son. On the other hand I know that this is the day that his parents, who do care for him very much, lose their son. As a daughter that breaks my heart. As a mom that breaks my heart.

Rolling Along

We're still rolling along here.

My mom went home to her house and had some complications with her blood pressure so she is back here with us so we could keep a closer eye on her. She's never been one to sit still and she's ready to go home again. Her follow up with the surgeon is today.

Winter break is over today....yeah for school! Having all three home together is a constant fight over toys, tv, chairs....everything. Someday they will love each other right? Right?

I'm pouring over my new seed catalogs and dreaming of better weather. I ordered Johnny's Seeds catalog for the first time. I'm in love...so many varieties, so many pictures.....ahhhh.

Thriving in Stress

As a foster parent I think we get used to thriving in stress. The ambush of a new placement, rushing to get clothes, furniture, formula/food, doctors appointments all at a moments notice.

Today is such a day.

My mom had a quadruple bypass this past week and is being discharged today. She'll be coming to live with us permanently this evening. I'm a little scared at the idea of having to care for and please one more person. Even though it's my mom....actually probably because it's my mom....babies have no standards they expect in their care. Moms do. LOL

Some friends who have been expecting their first foster placement for months now got the call today. Tomorrow I'll be watching a little one with a broken leg. Makes my heart break.

My hands are full, but at least we've learned to thrive when under stress.

Still Here

We're still here and doing a bit better. Everything is swooshing past me as we enter the holiday season. I'm still busy gardening and hoping to get one more visit in to the farmer's market before it vanishes for the season.

Nothing is moving forward in Choo Choo's case.....just waiting for February to come. The girls are enjoying school and Lili is even trying her best at potty training.

I've added more blogs to my daily read....my interest veer off from foster parenting now that we are near the end of the road in our journey though....

Kids these days

I haven't written much about the kids here lately because I don't know what to say without sounding like I'm whining just as much as my kids.

The kids are all having some rough times and we are just stretched thin. If it were just one of them I think we might be able to cope better. But they all are having some issues.

We're going to start seeing some professionals for them soon and hopefully we'll feel a little more refreshed soon too.

I have no energy.

Gardening

Even though summer has waned I'm still busy trying to squeeze in a few more things....winter onions, more peas and spinach and lettuce.

I'm obsessively seed saving too. I bought some beautiful striped eggplant from the farmers market last week just for the seeds. Fall is always what gets me in trouble.

The planning of next years garden is always so exciting. I'll be cursing myself next year when spring opens up and I have way too many projects planned.

Wishing

Wishing I was back at the beach today.....

Too Long

I feel like summer slipped away and fall was here before I even realized it. Charlie and I haven't been able to go on bike rides and play dates like I thought we would once the girls were in school.

My mornings fill up quickly with cooking, laundry, dishes, driving to school.... I look up and it's nap time. Time to get really get things done without a little one underfoot. My goodness time flies.


The days are long but the years are short.

Travel

We travel a lot. It's a major part of our family's goals. Being from a small town I didn't see much of the world and therefore didn't get to know much beyond the culture of the midwestern US. Heck I'm just now realizing most of my values and cultural views have to do with my midwestern roots.

I want my kids to know and understand the many different people that live on this earth. So seeing the world beyond their home is important to me. We have larger (abroad) trips planned for as the kids get older. But for now we'll continue to see the US and check out the different regions while the kiddos are young. Our fall trip will be to explore different cohousing communities in the Pacific Northwest.

Next week we head south to Florida. Not really for the culture but more for the marine life. Dolphins, crabs, jellyfish - Choo Choo is already sooooo excited. He loves fish, our trip to the New England aquarium totally enraptured him. He has been pouring over the fish board book I got for him from the library for this trip....so much so that I can't find it. If you were 1 1/2 where would you hide your treasured fish book?

Sickies

It's the second week of school. The germs we avoided this summer have been brought home to roost. Just when I thought I couldn't blow my nose one more time....it moved to my chest. Lili is at the doctor today, I think hers settled into a sinus infection.

DP & Josie who both sleep like rocks have yet to catch it. Sleep must equal a stronger immune system. I must try that sometime.

Besides bringing us all a case of the sickies, school has been amazing. I was so worried after enrollment day but not anymore. Both teachers are just wonderful. Lili's teacher has even assigned her a one-on-one aid that will help her navigate hallways and stairs and help her eat in the lunchroom with the other kiddos. This is something that we were bracing for a fight for. In an overcrowded district without funds we never thought it would be this easy to get her help. Luckily she has a truly amazing teacher who sees her needs, fills them and then lets us know. Wow. Just like how it's supposed to work. Who woulda thought.

Having a full day of school has done wonders for Jo's outbursts. Her energy has been used up during the day so she comes home truly calm and enjoyable. She actually plays quietly and imaginatively by herself in the evenings when I'm cooking and getting things ready for the next day. No more pinball of pent up energy. My nerves are starting to unfrazzle. I see the need for organized sports in her future.


Choo Choo has been eating up all the mama attention. He's made a break through in speech since he's been home by himself. At 19 months he's finally figuring out that sounds get him things and he went Helen Keller style though the house labeling everything he could with his limited vocabulary of "buh, puh, tuh, kih, dah, & mah"
He's had speech, occupational & physical therapy since he was born. I would hate to imagine where he would be at this point without such intense early intervention. He's really doing well right now and becoming such a big boy.

Choo Choo's case through DFS has been delayed (no suprise there right?) though. Even though the TPR trial was ordered in February it isn't scheduled until January of 2009 now. Why do you ask? Because his SW is on medical leave and the DFS attorney is going on maternity leave so we won't do anything on his case until they are both back at the same time. which will be oh....6 months. We thought we might have a fall adoption....HA!

Everything happens for a reason right?